Its with a heavy heart that Velobants.cc legal counsel today foamally announce the null signing of CX super star “Molli “Meenor” Keenor.
In tents negotiations have been underway behind the boards for the last few weeks to acquire the skills of the new Junior to the ever growing ‘Velobants.cc CX non-race-take-it-easy-just-for-the-bants-although-we-now-have-skinsuits Team’.
A rigorous medical was undertaken with the then 15 year old rider (image below), and the results, all be it a little disappointing, indicated the under age chug rate required by Velobants.cc senior management (33% of which contains her father) was not at the acceptable level, but a development plan could be implemented in the coming season.
In addition to the testing, the offer of free
shit merch was thrown around, but this proved no match to the lure of training, free bikes, free this that and the other that was offered by Shutt It Ridley.
But as with all missed signings there are no hard feelings, and we wish the spiteful judas a successful coming season, and you’re obviously more than welcome at VB Towers (that’s the gazebo thing) whenever you see us.
N.B. If anyone is interested in purchasing any ridiculously over priced CX skins suits (size 16 y/o girl-ish) with an amount of black permanent marker down the side please enquire within.